Instant Gratification

I wanted to share this because I want you all to understand. BDSM is not a game, and people are not toys. I have seen it one too many times; men who pretend to be a Dom, to take advantage of an unsuspecting sub. They use BDSM as a way to get laid and that is it. They use and dump people and have no regards for them. That is just the small stuff, trusting a stranger to tie you up and use weapons on you is not smart, use common sense!. I have also seen women string along the men and sweet talk them telling them they are a new sub, and have no idea how this works, please teach the helpless scared little girl. They play the men either for attention or for money. I know, it happens all the time, but it doesn’t make it right.



I also have seen many people that want an instant D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship. They want to just have it magically appear. How many times have we seen it on Facebook “I want a Dom, and I want one now!” I can almost see the women stomping their little feet and whining about it not being fair. They see someone who resembles a Dom, has the lines down pat, and they throw themselves at him. Sadly, a few weeks later, you see them back on Facebook, hurt, sad, broken. Sometimes yes, the “dating” (sexy fun) lasts a few months.



I also see Doms come into a group and ask “Where can I get a sub?” What? They sell them at some pet store I don’t know about? Are they in some unknown waiting room ready to serve you? First of all, people are not items to be “gotten”. Next, How about you tell people what makes you attractive to them? Maybe we should just start at the beginning.



The key is that, when you are going into D/s, it is no different than regular dating. You should in fact build a regular relationship before jumping into D/s. If you want a good relationship that lasts, you should first get to know each other, see if you are compatible. And yes, some old fashioned courting should be part of it. Once you have established a good relationship, then you could move on to add D/s. This takes work, and it takes time. Things that last, and are real, are worth the time and effort invested in it.



In this day and age, people want immediate satisfaction. So we have fast food, fast internet, fast everything. Let’s not lower out standards by having our D/s be the same. Fast, fun, and then gone like a shooting star.



When you plant a tree, you take the time to pick the seed you want; you plant the seed, raise and nurture it until it becomes a strong tree. Yes it takes time and effort, but in the end, you have a good tree, that has grown strong roots and lasts for many years. If you instead shortcut, and go rip a tree out of your neighbor’s yard and stick it in your front yard, chances are the first strong wind will take it down. Chances are, it could be infested, and you just brought an infestation to your home. Chances are it was dying inside, and you had no idea. It was a cheap and fast way to get a tree, but now you regret it, because it didn’t last.



I am not saying all relationships built fast won’t last. I am just saying that you are dealing with other people; treat them as such, get to know them. Women in the Personals Classifieds are not a piece of meat! Men in the Classifieds are not a source of free income, gifts and attention. We are all people, even if we are online, treat each other with respect, and use common sense. Seems with the internet age we want things now, and many people cannot distinguish the fantasy of Facebook and the reality of people’s lives clearly. Don’t get frustrated seeing your friends’ “perfect” lives. They only tell you the good parts, and embellish them to make it sound amazing. Relationships take work and they are not perfect; be patient.



Even if you are not in search for a partner, it is good to slow down and smell the roses.

~Sam